


OEGAMIOM

by wookieefucker



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dubious Consent, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Sex Magic, Sex Toys, Spanking, Team Dean Winchester's Red Ass, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:27:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24282064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wookieefucker/pseuds/wookieefucker
Summary: “Well, it says step two is. Uh.” Sam glanced over at Jack who was threading paperclips together. “Hey, Jack, do you wanna go get the pizza cut up for dinner?” Jack set his paperclips down.“Ah, are you going to discuss the sex?”It was silent. Sam coughed.Dean touches something he shouldn't. Things get weird.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 12
Kudos: 137





	OEGAMIOM

**Author's Note:**

> This is 100% the fault of the Profound Bond discord server. I love you all. Thanks a BUNCH to [randomskittles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomskittles/pseuds/randomskittles) for the beta work. You caught so many mistakes and I would have died without your help.

Cas.

Ass.

Haha those rhyme.

Cas. Ass. Cas has a great ass.

“ _Enough_ Dean!”

“Whuh?”

“Dude, I’m happy for you, truly, but shut the fuck up.”

“Huh?”

Sam groaned and pulled his pillow over his ears. “Dean you’re talking out loud. And while I’m happy you and Cas have figured out your shit, 2:57 in the morning is not when I want to hear about it.” Before Dean could say anything else, Sam threw a pillow at him and said, “And I don’t want to hear about Cas’ ass anyway. Go to sleep, jerk.”

“Night, bitch,” Dean slurred out on instinct, closing his eyes. He laid there quietly for a few minutes before tentatively whispering, “Sammy?” When Sam didn’t yell at him or wake up, Dean sat up in his own bed. He was vaguely aware that he was supposed to be sleeping off the effects of an epic bender. That was why he was sleeping on a foldaway cot in Sam’s room. 

What Dean wanted to be doing right now was finding his phone. His hand flopped around on the floor around the cot for a moment before he remembered that he had left it charging in the kitchen. He had been making dinner with Jack before everything happened.

“Are you sure we should leave the kitchen, Dean?” Jack asked, eyebrows pinched together in worry.

“Yeah, it’s fine. It’s just pizza, although a damn fine homemade one at that,” Dean replied, clapping a hand onto Jack’s shoulder and steering him down the hall. “It’s gotta bake for twenty minutes, and that’s twenty minutes we can spend on the archives and keep Sam and Cas from bitching at us to help later.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to have them around, since Cas is immune to most of the cursed objects, and Sam can use a spell to detect the magic in them?”

“Psh, no,” Dean replied, rolling his eyes. “We don’t need those nerds for this. Besides, it’s called doing a nice thing. We’re helping.”

“Oh!” Jack’s eyes lit up, and he smiled widely. “I like helping.”

“Awesome,” Dean replied. 

Dean finally made it to the kitchen at 3:11, his phone screen nearly blinding him as he checked the time. Goal achieved. And he didn’t even need Sammy to babysit him. He squinted blearily at the screen, opening his contacts list until he found Cas’ name, hitting the call button. It was picked up on the first ring. Dean tapped the speakerphone button.

“Dean? Is everything alright?” Cas’ gravelly voice sounded worried, and Dean yawned before shaking his head. “Dean?” Oh, right. Cas couldn’t see him. Dean hung up and redialed with FaceTime. Cas answered again on the first ring, this time looking mildly irritated, his forehead furrowed with concern.

“Dean, are you there?”

“Heeeeyyyyyy, Cas,” Dean drawled out with a dopey grin. He slid down the cabinets next to him to sit on the floor, legs sprawled haphazardly in front of him. Cas rolled his eyes, but he did smile back. That was a win. 

“Hello, Dean. Where is Sam?”

“Sammy’s sleeping,” Dean replied, waving his hand. “I missed you.” Cas’ expression softened even more. He glanced behind himself before stepping through a doorway and shutting it softly behind him. “Hey, where’d you go? I thought we were gonna, y’know, get it on tonight.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows obscenely and Cas shook his head. 

“Dean you know we couldn’t do that tonight.”

“Why not?” Dean was pouting now, and Cas frowned at him.

“Do you not remember what happened earlier?”

“Dean, I don’t think you should touch that,” Jack said, looking concerned. 

“You touched it just fine,” Dean replied, waving what appeared to be a foot long stone dildo through the air like a sword.

“I’m feeling extremely bad about this. Besides, I think our pizza is done. I’m going to the kitchen to check the oven.” As Jack left, Dean grumbled to himself before waving the stone phallus around again and then setting it back on the shelf. After he left the room it began to shake until it suddenly flashed with a bright light.

“I remember pizza for dinner,” Dean replied after a long pause, and Cas nodded. “And Sammy and I got so drunk. Sammy’s a lightweight,” Dean whispered to Cas, who nodded solemnly. His eyes twinkled with mirth as he leaned in closer to the phone. 

“I think you might be drunk, Dean.”

“Shit. Probably,” Dean laughed.

“Drink some water, Dean, and go to sleep. Jack and I will be there when you wake up.”

Dean nodded sleepily, scratching at his stomach as he clambered up off of the floor, gripping the counter with one hand and holding his phone tightly with the other. When he finally stood up, he held the phone up again to see Cas still there. “Night, Cas.”

“Good night, Dean.”

The call ended and Dean turned on the tap, letting a clean coffee mug fill with water. He held it between both hands as he walked back down the hallway. He paused halfway to Sam’s room. He didn’t have to go, but better try now than once he’d gotten all comfortable and warm. He stopped at the bathroom to take a piss, screaming and dropping the mug when he pushed the waistband of his pajama bottoms down.

Cas and Sam walked into the bunker laden with groceries, finding Dean and Jack in the kitchen, pizza almost out of the oven. 

“Hey, guys, smells great,” Sam greeted cheerfully, and Cas nodded his agreement as they worked together to unload the bags. Dean watched Jack put the pizza on the counter proudly, pulling the pizza cutter from the drawer to hand it to him before he felt an excruciating pain in his lower half and fell to the floor. Everyone dropped what they were doing, and Cas knelt quickly, a hand on Dean’s forehead.

“I knew he shouldn’t have touched it,” Jack said, worried, and Sam’s head whipped around.

“Show me.”

Sam and Jack came back with the giant dildo wrapped in Jack’s jacket. 

Dean was sitting up now, and appeared fine. Cas was running his hands over him, but Dean kept trying to push his hands away.

“‘M fine, Cas, don’t waste your mojo on trying to figure out what’s wrong. Let’s just look at the thing.” Cas sighed and stood up, reaching a hand down to pull Dean up as well. He pulled harder than necessary, causing Dean to stumble into him, and Dean smirked, pushing up against Cas before looking horrified. Cas looked stymied, and Dean choked out, “Be right back,” before taking off down the hallway.

Sam watched Dean run worriedly before turning back to Jack. “So you touched it with no issues?” Sam asked again, and Jack nodded.

“Dean waved it around like a sword for a while.” Sam snorted. “I touched it once on accident, I knocked my elbow against it and caught it before it could roll onto the floor. I set it back down and Dean started laughing and then picked it up.”

“MY DICK!” Dean’s voice came wailing down the hallway, causing all three men in the kitchen to pause.

“Did he just-” Cas began, and Sam nodded. They all took off running.

All three of them skidded into the bathroom one after the other, first Sam, then Cas, then Jack, bumping into each other like an episode of Scooby Doo. Dean was standing there with his pants down to his ankles, face frozen in horror. 

“I look like the fucking Metatron,” Dean moaned, and Sam cracked up. Cas looked confused. 

“Dean, I had to assist Metatron in the bathroom, he definitely had a penis.”

“First of all, what the fuck?” Dean began, raising a hand when it looked like Cas was actually going to answer. “Second, no. Think Alan Rickman. Dogma.”

“Is that what you’ve always looked like?” Jack asked, and Dean choked. Sam belatedly slapped a hand over Jack’s eyes and started shoving him out of the room.

“Ok I’m going to go figure that thing out. Cas, maybe help Dean?”

Dean wasn’t sure exactly how Cas was supposed to help. There was nothing there.

“I look like a fucking Ken doll!” Dean exclaimed, and Cas pursed his lips.  
“I’m sure this is fixable, Dean.” He paused. “Do you still have a rectum?”

“Buddy, much as I admire the drive, now is not the time to be thinking about gettin’ it on.”

“Dean.” Cas looked exasperated. “I was wondering if you were still going to be able to go to the bathroom, and how you’re supposed to eat if you can’t.”

Dean was horrified. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. He’d just gotten that bad “something is wrong” feeling after pressing up against Cas and feeling absolutely no answering twitch from his dick. “I don’t know. I didn’t get that far.”

Cas sighed, and turned to shut the bathroom door. “We’d better check.”

Dean left the bathroom feeling violated, and not in the fun, sexy way. That had been the most practical Cas had ever been with his fingers up Dean’s ass. Still, it was determined that he could probably use the bathroom if he had to. 

They walked back towards the kitchen, but found Sam and Jack in the library instead.

“So, get this,” Sam said, without looking up from the book in his hands. “Apparently waving that thing around is supposed to be step one of a three part fertility ritual. The first night you’re supposed to use this to ‘ritually purify’ yourself. Which was why Jack was unaffected. He just set it back down.” 

Dean rolled his eyes. He was growing increasingly agitated. “Okay, so how does being literally junkless prepare me for a fertility ritual?” 

“Well, it says step two is. Uh.” Sam glanced over at Jack who was threading paperclips together. “Hey, Jack, do you wanna go get the pizza cut up for dinner?” Jack set his paperclips down. 

“Ah, are you going to discuss the sex?”

It was silent. Sam coughed.

“Yes Jack,” Cas finally replied. Dean felt like he was going to pass out. “Could you please go get dinner ready.”

“Okay!”

“The ritual, Sam?” Cas prompted.

Sam cleared his throat. “Right. So part two has to be a minimum of 24 hours later. It involves uh, self-insertion of the. Item.”

It was silent again.

“It’s definitely clear on the fact that this part has to be done alone.” Sam continued. Dean didn’t want him to continue. He also really didn’t want to ask this next question.

“And the third step?”

Sam looked like he really didn’t want to answer Dean. He stared down and read straight from the book, “You have to manually anoint the item with your seed and then stimulate it as if it were the shaft of your lover.”

It was silent again, and then- “Are you all done discussing the stone penis?”

“Jesus Christ, Jack!” Dean exclaimed, whipping around to face the doorway.

“Well, the pizza was ready, and I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Yes, thank you, Jack,” Cas replied, pressing a hand briefly to Dean’s lower back before following Jack and Sam to the kitchen. 

Dinner was an awkward affair, although Dean did try to keep his mood up. Jack’s pizza turned out really well, and after eating Dean really did try to stay positive. He didn’t succeed, apparently, as Cas came to him about an hour later and said that he was going to take Jack to a motel to sleep so that Dean and Sam could get outstandingly drunk. 

Dean agreed that Jack absolutely didn’t need to be here for that, and agreed that Cas being here would probably be more of a frustration than anything else. They still kissed goodbye, and it stretched on for longer than they should have left it. Dean felt the stirrings of arousal with no outlet and groaned, pulling away.

“Go,” he said, frowning a little. “I’m going to go get really drunk with Sam.”

Sam careened around the corner and into the bathroom, pistol held out in front of him.

“Don’t shoot, Sammy,” Dean shouted, and Sam lowered the gun on instinct. His hair was a mess from sleep, static causing it to balloon around his head like some kind of bizarre halo. 

“Dean?” Sam asked, glancing around. His eyes flitted over the broken mug on the floor and Dean groaned.

“‘S fine. Just forgot about all this.” He waved his hand around at his crotch and Sam nodded, finally lowering his gun all the way. “Go back to sleep. I’m coming in a minute. Just gonna sweep this up.” Sam nodded blearily, padding back down the hall to his room.

Dean woke up horny and hungover, which was a terrible combination in his opinion. He could hear the shower running, and could see that Sam wasn’t in his bed, so he reached a hand down to push at the base of his dick before remembering. Right. He didn’t have one right now. Son of a bitch. At least he still hadn’t had to go to the bathroom, as weird as that was.

He groaned and pushed himself off the terrible folding cot, straightening the sheet and putting the pillow up top. He checked the timer on his phone, which said he had another nine hours to go before he could start fixing things. Dean shuffled down the hall and into the kitchen, pausing as he heard the rumble of Cas’ truck. Pretty good timing. He had just turned the coffee pot on when they came in. Jack was sipping an extremely large slushy through a swirly straw, and Cas had a bag from CVS.

“Dean, if I could speak to you? In your room?”

Dean nodded, following Cas back down the hall. Cas shut the door, shoving him up against it and kissing him thoroughly. “Not that I’m complaining at all, buddy, but what brought this on?”

Cas gestured at the bag. “I spent most of the night after your call thinking about how large that stone phallus is, and thinking about you putting it inside of you.” Dean flushed and squirmed a little under Cas’ gaze, but he didn’t look away. “I then thought that you might not have enough lubricant. So I stopped and bought several bottles as I wasn’t sure what would be best for polished marble. He kissed Dean again before finally stepping back.

“Hey, get back over here,” Dean pouted, stepping forward. Cas stepped back again.

“Dean. We don’t know what could happen. I shouldn’t have even kissed you, but I confess, it was so tempting I just gave in.” He stepped around Dean, glancing over his shoulder. “I’ll make it up to you, after. I promise.” Dean followed Cas with his eyes before glancing down and checking his watch. Eight and a half hours.

They spent the day fairly normally. Sam and Cas insisted on proper procedure for cataloging items in storage, and let Jack help them, although they kicked Dean out. He had shrugged, not really wanting to do it anyway, and set himself to stripping all of the beds and doing laundry. 

Noon rolled around and Dean threw spaghetti on the stove, slowly drinking a beer as he waited on the sauce to heat up. He felt flushed all over, and had already taken one shower. He was hoping the beer would cool him down. 

One by one his family filed in, drawn by the smell of fresh food. Dean sent them to wash their hands, and then started delegating jobs. Sam set the table, Jack got drinks out for everyone, and Cas was in charge of keeping him company. Sam protested a little at that, but it was a token complaint. 

Lunch passed by smoother than dinner had, and before Dean knew it he was washing dishes and the others were heading back to the archives. Cas jumped as he passed by Dean, turning to glare at him, and Sam rolled his eyes as Dean made pinching motions in the air with his fingers and wiggled his eyebrows. He called Dean gross and dragged Cas out of the kitchen, once again leaving Dean alone.

After cleaning, Dean took another shower, this one more frustrating than the last. The timer was winding down, though, until finally it was dinner time once more. Sam muscled Jack out of the door and into the garage before he could ask any questions, and Cas followed reluctantly.

“Feel free to call or text me, Dean,” he said as they stared intently at one another. Dean nodded. “I’ll be here as soon as possible if you need me,” Cas added. Dean nodded again. They leaned in and then were startled by Sam honking the horn repeatedly. Dean rolled his eyes before giving Cas a quick peck on the lips, shoving him towards the garage. 

“Go. I’ll send pictures.” Cas stumbled out the door, and Dean laughed, shutting it firmly and then walking slowly to his room where _it_ waited.

Dean groaned as he fingered himself open. He had his phone in one hand, trying to take a picture for Cas, but he was on his knees, ass in the air, leaning on one shoulder and one elbow for support. It wasn’t a position that lent itself kindly to holding a camera. He still gave it his best shot.

The response from Cas came quickly, making Dean snort. It was an eggplant emoji and nothing else. 

‘i cant wait until this is over,’ Dean responded, typing with his thumb. Damn, this was easier back before smartphones. Maybe he should’ve dug out one of the old emergency flip-phones for this.

Cas sent the tongue emoji. Dean rolled his eyes.

‘ur kind of bad at this whole sexging thing’

‘Sexging? XP’

‘shut up u know what i meant. gonna make u squart acrss the whole room.’

‘Dean. Are you referencing Squart Guy?’ Before Dean could respond, because, _What the fuck?_ Cas was texting again. ‘Sam has informed me that it is impolite to text while at the movies, and that if I’m texting you what we’re doing is much worse than impolite. I should go’

‘aw man dont leave me’ Dean responded quickly. He had really found his rhythm and was fucking himself back onto his fingers, hips rocking steadily. He paused to add more lube, and went back to it, eyeing the stone dildo with trepidation.

‘:(‘

‘i cant wait til this is over. gonna fuck you so hard when i get my dick bsck’

‘Sam is taking my phone now, Dean’

Dean switched contacts, tapping Sam’s name.

‘bitch’

‘Jerk. Quit sexting your boyfriend and absolutely don’t text me again. Finish up so we can come home. This is weird’

Dean rolled his eyes and set his phone down, glaring at the dick again. Jesus. So he’s supposed to fuck himself on the thing and then rub his jizz all over it like lube and pretend it belonged to Cas. How he was supposed to have jizz when he had no dick, he had no clue, but it was show time. He pulled his fingers out and rolled over, grabbing the dildo. At least Cas had found a base that the thing was supposed to slot into, it weighed a ton. Dean wasn’t sure he had the arm muscle for extended use without one. 

Dean sighed, mentally preparing himself. He frowned at his smooth front. He wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen, and the book hadn’t been forthcoming. Apparently the Men of Letters hadn’t really wanted to do any in-depth research into the thing.

“Alright, Winchester. You’ve got this,” Dean announced to his empty room, trying to psych himself up. He set the thing on the floor, knelt down, and then stood back up. He grabbed the pillows from his bed and set them to either side, and then knelt on them. Dean shrugged. It was better, at least. 

Dean spent a few moments squeezing an extremely generous amount of lube onto the dildo, rubbing it down until it glistened, and then closed his eyes. “It’s cool. I can do this. It’s not that big. I’ve had splinters bigger than that.” He opened one eye. “Gotta get my dick back. Okay.”

And then he was twisting around, looking behind him, trying to line up the right angle. Dean could feel the head of the dildo against his hole and clenched for a moment before forcing himself to exhale and relax. He leaned into it, pushing back, and sunk himself slowly onto the shaft. Dean’s knees were aching, his thighs sweating, but he moved slowly. He lost control for a moment, sinking rapidly for about an inch and a half before regaining his composure, and Dean’s eyes were like saucers. He breathed heavily from his mouth, and maintained his speed the rest of the way down. 

Dean paused, resting on his knees, thighs pressed to his calves. He felt split in half, but it wasn’t a bad feeling. It scratched at an itch that had been building since he touched the thing in the first place, and Dean nodded to himself. He began to move, slowly, just minute raises and lowering of his hips. It felt like little sparks firing inside him, up and down the length of the dildo as he moved. 

His pace picked up, his arousal growing in turn as he grew more bold with his movements. He closed his eyes, head tilted toward the ceiling. As Dean moved he reached down on instinct to touch his own cock, and was startled to find that his skin wasn’t the smooth plane that had been there when he started, but that his skin was moving outwards, growing. Dean rubbed at it, but found it ineffectual. 

He groaned, and kept moving, his thighs shaking as he kept fucking himself. As he watched, his skin continued to grow, finally taking shape as something vaguely penis-like, although there were still no testicles. Dean kept moving. He wanted to check the time, but was terrified it would either say he’d barely been at it, or that it had already been hours. 

As his cock grew, so now did his arousal, and he could feel himself hurtling towards the plateau. Dean thrust up and down fervently, gasping for breath. He was coated in sweat, his knees ached, and his thighs were straight up on fire. Still, he could feel it. He was almost there, and it looked like everything had finally grown back. 

Dean reached down and took himself in hand, fisting his dick roughly. He was leaking pre-come all over his fingers, raising himself up and down on the dildo in staggered, shuddery motions. He sank down one last time, hand twisting in time, and came, threads of semen leaking out through his fingers, although he tried to catch it all. He just sat there for a moment, still impaled on the giant dildo, breathing heavily. 

Groaning, Dean pulled himself off with a wet squelching sound and grimaced, flopping sideways onto the floor. He laid there for a moment before rolling onto his side, reaching his hand out and massaging his own jizz onto the dick. He tried to keep Cas in mind, but honestly he was exhausted. It was all Dean could do just to keep his hand moving. As he did so, it glowed, the light almost becoming blinding, and just when it became almost completely unbearable, the light diffused, leaving Dean alone. He reached his arm up and pulled the blanket off his bed, wrapping it around himself on the floor and falling asleep.

Dean woke up to his phone buzzing angrily against the floor and blearily reached out, smacking his hand hard against the dildo as he did. It hurt. The thing was a foot of marble, after all. Shaking his hand out Dean grabbed his phone, pressing talk.  
“‘Lo?” Dean greeted, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He glanced around before pushing himself off the floor, leveraging himself up with the side of his bed.

“Dean.” Cas sounded relieved. “I’ve been texting you. Is everything alright? Can we come home?”

He yawned and winced. Dean felt like he’d been ridden hard and put away wet, and he had no one to blame but himself. “Yeah,” he said through his yawn. “Sorry, buddy. It all worked. Just fell asleep when I was done. Wore me out.” 

Dean swore he could hear Cas’ smirk as he said, “I’m sure it did,” in his sex voice, and then heard Sam making retching noises in the background. Dean chuckled, shuffling around his bed to grab his robe, and then walked slowly to the bathroom. He deserved the world's longest shower after everything he’d been through.

“You guys can come home whenever.”

“Do you want anything for dinner?”

“Jiffy Burger?” Dean asked hopefully.

“Sure. See you soon, Dean.”

“Bye, buddy,” Dean replied, smiling softly as he hung up the phone.

Dean leaned against the counter as he ate his burger sloppily. Cas was staring at him fondly, sipping on a sweet tea that had been purportedly bought for Dean. Cas claimed that sugar molecules were easier to taste, though, so Dean always let him have them. He could just get a beer from the fridge anyway. Sam kept shooting Dean disgusted glances from where he ate his own burger at the table. 

“Don’t you want to sit with us, Dean?” Jack asked, and Dean choked on the bite he’d just taken. Cas was at his side in an instant, rubbing his back as he coughed, and Dean gulped from the tea Cas shoved into his hand. 

“I’m sure Dean’s just-”

Cas was cut off. “He had to spend practically all day alone because of the ritual, I just didn’t want him to be lonely,” Jack explained, barreling past any explanation that Cas could hope to come up with.

“Yeah, Dean,” Sam interjected. He grinned up at him. “Sure you don’t wanna join us? You must be pretty lonely.”

Dean just smiled serenely back. “Sure am. In fact I missed my brother so much I was hoping you could come to my room and help me clean up so I didn’t have to be alone.”

Sam gagged. “That’s disgusting.”

“You started it, Samantha.”

“Oh, a girl’s name, real mature Dean. I wasn't the one with a-” Sam stopped and looked at Jack. “You know what up his-”

“Enough,” Cas interjected, one eyebrow raised. “Jack, quite frankly, Dean’s reasons for standing are his own and I’d be happy to explain things to you when you’re older. Maybe when you’re fifty. Now go find something to do and take Sam with you, and I will help Dean.” Nobody moved for a moment, until Cas said, “Now, please,” extremely calmly.

“You’re fuckin’ hot when you get all bossy,” Dean said, burger forgotten on the counter. He sucked on the straw in Cas’ tea that he was still holding, eyebrows wiggling suggestively. Cas snorted and shook his head. 

“I think you promised to fuck me when your dick was back.”

“Pretty sure I did.”

“So what are we waiting for?”

They stumbled down the hall, gasping into each other’s mouths. Dean had had concerns about getting it up after he came so intensely earlier, but apparently magical orgasms had no bearing on his stamina. Good to know. As they entered Dean’s room, he noticed Cas’ eye catching on the stone dildo. 

“Need to get that thing out of here,” Dean sighed into his neck, kissing Cas along his jawline.

“I can’t believe you actually did that.”

“Hey I sent pictures,” Dean argued playfully.

“You sent one picture, Dean, and it was extremely blurry.”

“So I lied. I’ve told worse ones.” He pulled back, grinning at Cas. 

Cas struggled to look solemn, but that playful twinkle was there in his eyes. “I don’t know, Dean, I think lying about sending me pictures of you fucking yourself like a whore on a giant stone cock is a pretty big offense.” Cas’ hand was playing with the curve of Dean’s hip, teasing against the denim fabric there, slipping into the waistband. Dean’s breath caught in his throat, and his hips jerked forward, although his momentum was stilled by Cas’ hand.

“What am I supposed to do about that, Dean?”

Dean swallowed, but he didn’t answer.

“I’ve been thinking about it all evening, Dean. About watching you fill yourself with something that big. Thinking about watching you right here, about how much you were enjoying yourself.” Cas pushed Dean ahead of him gently towards the bed, following him. “But Dean, you could have been hurt. This was dangerous. I’m afraid there’s only one thing to be done before I’ll let you fuck me.” 

Cas methodically took off his coat and suit jacket, laying them over the end of the bed. He took off his tie and rolled up his sleeves, watching Dean watch him the whole time. Cas sat down and patted his lap. Dean’s cheeks flushed red, and Cas raised his eyebrow at him. 

“Are you going to take your clothes off?"

Dean made a strangled sort of sound and shucked his clothes from his body as quick as he could, diving across Cas’ lap. Cas laughed and patted his right butt cheek fondly and shifted his thighs, letting Dean’s cock slip between them. 

“If you come, you’re going to have to use your fingers to fuck me, which I’ll still enjoy, but you might not find as fun,” Cas mused, smacking his hand down heavily with no warning. Dean jumped before settling back down, dipping his spine so his ass raised to meet Cas’ hand. 

“I didn’t think you were listening when I mentioned this,” Dean said, eyes opening wide as Cas’ hand came down again, this time on the other side. His hands were so _big,_ Christ. Cas spanked Dean twice more on each cheek, the smacks echoing through the room. 

“I always listen to you, Dean,” Cas murmured, trailing a finger down between Dean’s cheeks, pressing at his hole. “You’re still so _open_.” Dean flushed and it spread down his neck and shoulders. Dean spread his legs a little more, but Cas pulled back his fingers and smacked Dean again a few more times, this time on his inner thighs. His skin was so fair, especially here where he was always covered, and Cas ran his fingers across Dean’s balls softly, causing him to push his hips back towards Cas’ hand.

Cas spanked his inner thighs again, closer to his balls. Dean stilled. Cas began tracing soft lines with his fingers again. “Cas, buddy, come on, you’re killing me,” Dean whined, and Cas smacked him hard across the middle of his ass, fingers splayed. The noise was louder than expected and they both froze, tensely listening. They didn’t hear anything from the hallway, though, and Dean relaxed. Cas didn’t move. “You gonna really hit me, or what?” Dean taunted, and that definitely brought a reaction.

Cas spent the next five minutes alternating between laying down one or two hard smacks, a short flurry, or just trailing his fingers around the marks he’d already made. Dean was a mess by the end of it, panting heavily and jerking his hips in little aborted thrusts between Cas’ thighs.

“Oh, you were so good, Dean,” Cas praised, fingers playing between Dean’s legs, flirting with his hole but never fully committing. Dean fucking _whimpered_ as he laid over his thighs. “Are you going to fuck me now?” Cas asked idly, like he was asking about the goddamn weather. Dean pushed himself up on his elbows, looking over his shoulder. His ass was a patchwork of red marks, many of them overlapping, and it extended to the tops of his thighs. 

Cas squeezed his thighs together and Dean groaned. “If you do that again we’re not even gonna get there.” He climbed awkwardly off and stood up, smirking down at Cas.

“You’re awfully cocky for someone who just got spanked over my knee,” Cas replied, undoing his belt, and Dean rolled his eyes. 

“Like that was really a punishment. If you wanted me to be sorry, you shoulda used that belt. Come on. Now get your pants off, lemme see that ass.” Cas laughed and stood up as well, stepping into Dean’s space and kissing him. Dean unbuttoned Cas’ pants, pushing them and his underwear down. Cas stepped out of them, kicking them off, and toed off his socks while Dean pushed him back against the bed. Cas landed with an _oomph_ noise, and Dean laughed.

“I said let me see that ass,” Dean said, still laughing, and smacked Cas gently on the front of his thigh. Cas rolled over, head settled on his arms as Dean scooted down between his legs, hoisting Cas by his hips and pulling them up in the air. Cas let out a breathy gasp as Dean’s hands settled firmly around his hips, holding him still as Dean placed a kiss just to the right of the base of his spine. Dean’s kisses trailed lower, his hands roaming and fingers kneading into the flesh of his outer thighs. 

“Dean,” Cas whispered, and Dean brought his face down, tongue licking broad stripes up and down Cas’ crease before focusing solely on his hole. Dean’s right hand moved closer, his fingers slipping in next to his tongue. His fingers pressed in, pushing past the rim before disappearing. Cas moaned into the pillow, face flaming as Dean ate him out. Dean was ecstatic. Cas didn’t often indulge Dean like this, preferring instead to dote his affections on his favorite human, as he told Dean, who would squirm every time he said it. 

Eventually, Dean pulled back, although reluctantly. He snagged the lube from where he’d tossed it on the bed earlier in his post shower clean-up. The cap popped open with a _snick_ , and Dean warmed the lube between his fingers before slowly pressing in. Cas usually liked to remind him that he was an angel, and that this step, although nice, was not necessary, but Dean enjoyed it. There was something so intimate, so easy to get lost in, about opening your lover up slowly so they could take you inside of them.

Cas moaned and thrust his hips as Dean moved his fingers, always so responsive. That was another reason that Dean liked this part, refusing to skip it. Maybe that was why Cas always pushed him to move past this so quickly. He had a hard time being vulnerable, although Dean had always been humbled by Cas’ willingness to trust him, even if he didn’t show it well at times.

“Hey, I gotcha, buddy,” Dean said, hand resting on Cas’ shoulder blade. Dean leaned in to kiss the back of his neck, and Cas sighed, turning his face towards Dean. “Come on, roll over,” Dean said with another smack to Cas’ thigh, causing him to snort.

“You’d think you were wanting to give a spanking instead of get one,” Cas said, eyebrow raised, and Dean shrugged.

“Could be fun,” he commented, and Cas shifted, letting Dean pull him closer by his hips. “You’ve got a great ass for it,” Dean challenged, and Cas laughed.

“I’m not averse to trying, Dean, but I think you’d probably hurt your hand. Or find a reason to switch positions.” Cas brought his hands up, pulling Dean in with a firm grasp to his ass from both sides as he lined himself up and slowly pushed in, and his gasp proved Cas’ point.

“Nothin‘ wrong with a guy knowing what he likes,” Dean reasoned as he bottomed out, and Cas gave two harsh squeezes to his already red ass as he did. Dean gasped and pretended to scowl angrily. “Thought I was supposed to be on top right now.”

Cas laughed and pulled Dean down for a kiss with both hands cradling the sides of his face, and Dean grinned into it. 

“I’m just reminding you what you like,” Cas replied between kisses, and Dean thrust in and out slowly. He leaned back for a moment, pushing Cas’ legs up between them, folding him in half, and then continuing. God, Cas was so bendy. Dean had a lot of fun trying to find positions that Cas couldn’t contort himself into, sometimes.

Dean leaned in to kiss Cas again, his legs on both of Dean’s shoulders, and marveled at doing so. If Cas tried this with him, they’d probably end up in the ER. Cas tweaked Dean’s nipple and Dean squeaked, making Cas laugh at him.

“Come on, now,” Dean complained. “I thought you’d been thinking about this all day.” His thrusts got harder, and Cas’ eyes grew wider. 

“I- oh right there, Dean. I was. Doesn’t mean I can’t- oh yes, _Dean._ Can’t enjoy your body while we’re at it.” Dean grumbled in response but it was good-natured. 

As they both grew closer to climax, Dean let Cas’ legs slip from his shoulders, moving instead to cradle him as close as possible while facing each other. It was probably sappy, but this is what Dean often thought of as making love. Even if it wasn’t permanent, he’d been afraid earlier that he wasn’t going to ever have this again, and he wanted to make this first time with his dick back count. He wanted it to be important.

As if Cas could see what he was thinking he pulled Dean as close as possible. His dick lay untouched between them, leaking profusely over both of their stomachs. Dean supported his body weight on one elbow, still kissing Cas, and reached down. 

“Come on Cas,” Dean murmured into his ear. “C’mon buddy, I got you. I got you babe. Come on,” and Cas was spilling into Dean’s hand and between his fingers, and Dean’s hips stuttered a staccato rhythm as he crested over the edge himself. He collapsed onto Cas, and they laid there for several soft moments, sweat cooling on their skin and breathing each other's air.

“I’m not sure these pieces go together,” Jack said as Dean walked into the library. He and Sam appeared to be doing a puzzle, although what it was supposed to be was anyone’s guess. It had been stored in a Ziploc and had no cover to tell them what it should look like. Sam looked frustrated. He glared at Dean and Cas, pointing at the two of them.

“You two are entirely too loud, and you get to explain the noises to Jack. I’m done.”

Dean and Cas eyed each other as Sam left the room before turning to Jack.

“I did exactly as you said, Dean,” Jack announced proudly. “I asked him what the noises coming from your room were, and if he could explain it to me. I didn’t even tell him that you told me it was the leaky pipes making noises last week.” Jack frowned. “Although I’m still not sure why leaking pipes made Sam so uncomfortable.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you're 18 or older (which I hope you are if you just read this fic!) feel free to join us at the [Profound Bond](https://discord.gg/profoundbond) discord server! It's an excellent time and we'd love to have you!


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